As an experienced writer, who has outsourced writing services you might have come across some awkwardly irksome people in the industry. Students, who seek to have tutors in order to help them gain a tighter grasp on their coursework, have also bumped into some of the queer characters that have sought to venture into academic writing, tutoring, and virtual assistants. Well, for one reason or another, many have started the writing venture but have stopped on their tracks after evaluating their fate in the business. However, there is a clique of persons who stick to writing and claim to be professionals, but are full of faults, which damage the good efforts that the pioneers had made. This article summarizes and articulates the 8 types of writers to avoid at all costs when seeking to offer job opportunities or when you want your paper done;
- The xaxa-xweewy writer
A time will come when you will want to go through your academic paper in order to either familiarize yourself with the work or prepare for a presentation. You can also decide to review the work in order to make it perfect and to accord it the real personal feel of your own. Sometimes, you will be idle enough to enjoy the kind of writing that exist out there. All the same, you will have to skim and scan through that academic paper. No. let us scratch that. You must read the work prior to submitting wherever it is that it will be required. In the process of doing this noble job, you are bound to come across the marvelous works of the xaxa-xweewy writer
This is the kind of writer who will not wait to fast for forty days and forty nights in the wilderness before getting tempted to invoke the xaxa-xweewy clause in their writing.
In fact, it is not uncommon to find the symptoms in long papers or those that are based on those relatively “boring” topics. Such are the times when you will bump into some un-academic words such as can’t, xaxa, xweet, 10nx, personal pronouns, jargon phrases, hawayu, wanna, gonna, and many others that converge in this congregation. For a professional eye, the noticing of these grave mistakes can be the trigger of a myocardial infarction.
However, for this kind of writer, not all is lost. They can still recover by continuous reading, practice, and the discipline of avoiding jokes, which lack even an ounce of humor.
- The feeble twig writer
I trembled like a chameleon on a feeble twig
Look, for the sake of having good fun, let us imagine together that you are reading an academic paper. Or any other piece of writing in the formal or informal set up. And you are bombarded by the nine-word phrase above. How would you feel? Good? Indifferent? Bad? Pathetic? Somebody shoot me!? Well, if you want to feel good about this, be my guest. I, on the other hand, would feel so lexically mutilated that I would wish some mysterious gun to shoot. I think you are rolling your eyes right now but before you rush to hit the gavel on the table and send me to the gallows (which I would prefer to surviving through the malevolent misuse of the good queen’s language), let me explain myself. First, this sentence has made its permanent mark on the wallow of fame of clichés. The second reason a professional writer would abhor a statement in the caliber of this one is because it is not academic. In writing, one has to be able to write the same thing repeatedly without making it look obvious that it is the same thing. The writer who uses such as statement either is stuck with the mentality of the 8th grade English compositions, or is intentionally making fun of their counterparts, who do their work competently. In fact, the definition of a feeble twig writer includes the fact that they have not been in the industry for long enough to master the art. I include this type of writer here in the list of the types of writers to avoid while taking cognizance of the fact that there could be room for improvement among the people in this category of writers. For instance, there are guys who have it in them to write. Passion, check! Ability to research, check! Time-sensitiveness, check! Feeble twig. Yes. The only inferable blemish here is that the writer has the ability to engage in this trade effectively but lacks the element of experience. The good old writers often take their hands, pull them up, and train them, and they become some of the best we have. On the other hand, there is this small, tiny cult of people who do want to shed the bad elements of their village off their clothes. Good or bad, status quo is their thing. For them, apart from including them in the 8 types of writers to avoid, we can only tell them,
See yo Life!
- The chiriku writer
Ndege mdogo mwenye kelele sana
The above is the Oxford Swahili definition of chiriku. In a nutshell, it is the name offered by the Swahili experts to a very small bird that makes so much noise. In other cases, it is used as a taxonomical sobriquet for people who not only talk too much, but also make so much noise while at it. If at all you have not come across such a person, or bird, then your world must be amazingly peaceful. Thank your stars because this type of tutor is a headache to the supposed beneficiary of his or her services. The first thing that you will notice is the inherent wordiness and the resultant confusion. In many occasions of face to face tutoring, the individual tends to bombard the student with too much information at the same time without considering the concept of orderliness. This also manifests in their writing, as it is often confusing. Nevertheless, nothing beats the irritability of this type of writer when it comes to the shooting of questions. Imagine a simple scenario where you request someone to assist you with some work and all they do is shove irrelevant queries into your auditory canal. For example, what does asking about my tribe, the type of account I own, or my religion have to do with a mathematics coursework that is due in 6 hours?
Unfortunately, I have not discovered how we can help this one.
- The me-only writer
This is my personal best. For the purposes of being fair, I will say it is my best. So, I happened to give an individual, let us call him me-only (not his real name), some work. The job was based on the element of contemporary religion. The student has clearly stated that the tutor should give a clarification on the problems that face the church among black people. From my understanding, it important for the tutor to not only understand what the student needs to be done, but also research for more information accordingly. However, me-only has his religious beliefs which he feels have to be held by any other person. What better opportunity to indoctrinate a student with my beliefs than this. He thought. The result was horrible.
The me-only writer tends to know everything and that everything revolves around them. For every topic, the me-only writer has a set of words that he will grind together to squeeze out stale juice of an essay that has already been produced. This situation emerges to be quite proximal to the concept of self-plagiarism. The only difference is that the writer in this case is too rigid and too focused on just some hoarded ideas.
The solution for this one could just be a piece of advice. Do plenty of research and become flexible in order to get out of the list of 8 types of writers to avoid at all costs.
- The Waah-hiyo-hapana writer
They will be on your case for work and will make you feel like they really need it. When you eventually send them some work they will ask for time to view and see if they can handle it.
After a few hours of checking, you will follow up if the work is in progress. If this type of writer is kind enough to respond,
Waaah! Hiyo hapana. Nitafutie ingine
The cycle will continue and one of you will give up. It is you, of course.
What we usually say about this group of writers that should be avoided at all costs is that; many have desired to join the industry, many have done it successfully. However, others have not made it. This means that there is always a filter percolating real writers from wannabe charlatans.
- The lazy us writer
Similar to the foregoing, the lazy us writer will either not start work, or will not do it to its completion. Of course, there are other things in between such as revisions, proper following of instructions, time keeping, and provision of the required amount of detail, which give them a headache. This one is just too lazy to take part in the industry. As already written in the life of an academic writer, sometimes this work requires you to lack sleep for more than 24 hours. The main aim here is to ensure that your student gets the best results out of the tutorship endeavor. If you fall short of this goal and looking for hooks to hang your miserable excuses, then you are a lazy us writer who falls deep into 8 types of writers to avoid at all costs.
- The rover-hover writer
You will be surprised to realize that this is the group among the 8 types of writers to avoid at all costs, which make the relationship between self-plagiarism and self-parody a reality. By definition, these terms tend to imply the processes that lead to someone making so many copies of one idea, which belongs to them. I should not be declared an enemy of personal prosperity so quick. My aim here is to indicate that the rover-hover writer is one who not only hovers around the same place, but also takes this same place everywhere he/she goes. A tutor needs to conduct adequate research, be ready to learn from others, and articulate ideas in newer ways.
- The once bitten writer
Remuneration upon completion of work is one of the essential reasons that drive people to work online, become writers, bloggers, and tutors. At the same time, there are individuals whose work is to reap where they did not sow. Apparently, there are students, virtual assistance agencies, and writing companies that gain from the sweat of a writer but do not compensate them for the sleepless nights.
Granted! this is very unfair and should not be encouraged. In fact, such agencies should be scraped off the face of the earth (or is it internet).
Nevertheless, the situation has given rise to the once bitten writer, whose list of trusted employers can only be seen by the tiny Japanese eyes. They are religiously adherent to the once bitten, twice shy proverb. Ultimately, my sympathies go to them for their past experience but I give warning to employers by including them in the eight types of writers to be avoided at all costs. There is a possibility they will be complacent and careless with the work knowing that they, probably, could not be paid anyway. In addition to this situation, their motivation levels are too low to produce quality work
The best ways to deal with such a situation, especially for talented writer, is to be a responsible employer and pay up when satisfactory work is delivered. This starts with having a trustworthy agreement or contract. Otherwise, avoid them.